This Still Exists!?

Holy shit I had all sorts of forgotten about this thing. No idea why it suddenly popped in to my head, but hey, here "we" are.

I'm not sure there is any reason I am posting again after almost 3 years; no one ever read this. Maybe I just feel like writing something that could possibly be read by anyone but will more than likely stay hidden forever. Who knows?

I won't try to regale you with how amazingly average and extraordinarily uneventful these past years have been, but I will probably end up hitting on quite a few different topics. Such as school. I read over the other posts just now and I realized that I has said I would never skip class again save for a Godzilla attack. Well ti turns out that I am a goddamn liar and have skipped WAY too many classes. This means that I am in my 5th year of college and I will more than likely have to go to school all summer to graduate without having to spend another year in the oubliette that is Rhode Island College. I am a terrible person with no goals or ambition. I don't even know if I want to be an English Major, I have just gotten to the point where I want out of school. I've been telling people for years that my plan is to leave the country to teach English over-seas, but I don't even know if I want to do that. I'm not sure there is anything I love to do, anything I feel a calling for. I feel like I may never find a passion. Is it possible that there just isn't anything out there for me? I want so very hard to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Maybe there just is no "purpose" out there for me.

I know all of this is kind of a downer and pretty fucking angst-y, but what do you care? You don't exist anyways. I don't know, I just don't feel like I'm "good" at anything. Both of my brothers are amazing musicians. I've played drums for 16 years and I still don't think I'm very good. I get told often that I am, I just don't feel it. It is possible that I am just not giving myself enough credit. But even if I'm not, how will me saying that I am good make me feel like I am? I know my multitude of character flaws and defects, but just knowing them doesn't make it easier to fix them.